Wednesday, April 9, 2014

How LD Feels! What's Simple is Hard!


I'm trying not to call myself stupid! Stupid! STUPID!

And I'm writing this post only 
to encourage others like me 
who beat their heads against the STUPID WALL.

I cling to my favorite hero LeVar Burton's quote,
"Do Not Quit.  EVER."

I displayed it in my classroom 
from the moment I first saw it:
Quote in My Classroom Upper Right
 
Do Not Quit.  EVER.  !!!!!



My fellow blogger Optimistic Existentialist
has an inspiring blog called
Musings of an Unapologetic Dreamer

He had a recent blog post called 
The Man in the Mirror.

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, 
I see stupid!  Stupid!  STUPID!


Like I'm so STUPID ~
right now I'm having trouble
putting these words
next to my photo on the left,
a thing I've done hundreds of times,
and I'm fighting again
because I can't make it work!

You'd think I'd have it figured out by now!

I flounder around until,
in some mysterious way, 
I make it work!

Beat you again !@#$% computer!!!!!
Do Not Quit. EVER.
      

So what has me chasing my tail
and gnashing my teeth
and fighting back tears.

I wanted to join the Insecure Writer's Support Group
founded by science fiction writer Alex J. Cavanaugh.
He has written three Amazon best sellers:


                     



It's a simple thing to join the group.
Why is it so hard for me?????

I'm LD in computers.
I own it.
But I won't let it defeat me.
Do Not Quit.  EVER.

So this afternoon I tackled what I just knew
would be teeth-gnashing frustrating.
I went to the website:





And I floundered around trying to sign-up.
Arrggghhhh!!!!!

I finally got myself on the list:
304 Fundy Blue's Standing Into Danger.

And then I tried to add the badge:

Oh the grief!

I read multiple blogs on adding badges.
I followed all the steps.
Over and over.

If you stumbled across my blog 
at various times this afternoon,
you may have seen some perplexing things!

stupid! Stupid! STUPID!
I could not do something so simple!

And then the light went on!
A possible solution!

Maybe it's not HTML/JavaScript.
Maybe it's something else.

Maybe the gadget is an image!
Ta-Da!
It's !@#$% posted!

Look to the right of LeVar Burton's quote!
Do Not Quit.  EVER.
One beautiful image of the badge
posted on my blog sidebar!
How fortuitous!  Trust me,
it's just good luck it positioned that way!
Furthermore,
I have no idea how 
words landed on the left 
of this image just now,
but I'm going with it!

I don't know why the words are indenting differently,
or why the lines are spacing further apart.
I'm letting it go ~ I'm tired of fighting!
Yikes ~ different again.
What the!
This is how LD feels!

So now:
My head hurts.
My body aches.
I'm tense from an adrenalin high.

I am exhausted.

I may not have done it the right way,
or the way it's supposed to work,
but I did it!

That feels !@#$%^ great!
And when I look in the mirror,
I see someone happy!
Someone who never quits!




I haven't replied to the comments on last night's post.
I haven't visited all the wonderful blogs I follow.
The Ever ~ Patient will be home hungry
in the next few minutes.

But I am a bonafide member 
of the Insecure Writer's Support Group! 

I'm going to post and catch up AGAIN!
I'll write that The Woman in the Mirror post
I took all the mirror photos for!
I promise!
Now to work off that adrenalin flood.

P.S.  Alex, I ordered a paperback copy of CassaStar.
         It should be here Friday!
         Can't wait!

24 comments:

  1. Wonderful post, and I love that beautiful smile! :)

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    1. Thanks, Linda! I hope that you are having a happy day ~ and that someone is making you smile, the way you make me smile.

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  2. Yeah!!! Glad you finally joined us. One can never be too insecure for the group. Trust me. You are in the right place.

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    1. Thanks, Alex! I'm feeling a little insecure right now! I just discovered that my pretty IWSG badge in my sidebar looks good but doesn't link! Arrggghhhh!!!!! Do Not Quit. EVER! But I'll get it working, just not today. After all, I lost my blog and its first post for two months. And eventually I stumbled across where it was. LOL! Thank God I can laugh at myself! I'm already working on my first IWSG post! Have a great day, Alex!

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  3. I too am a Levar Burton fan. He and his sisters were raised in this town but, when they left, the average IQ of Sacramento dropped sharply. Same thing happened in this house after my kids grew up and moved out, so I was left with a computer learning disability that sometimes seems doubly insuperable. But, upon LeVar's advice and your example, I won't give up. Thanks!

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    1. Way to go, Geo! After a career spent with second and third graders, I KNOW that everyone has brilliance and dimness, but what counts is perseverance. Take care!

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  4. that cat joined and he isn't insecure at all, just be crazy and you are safe haha And if the mirror talks back like that, smash it

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    1. I've noticed that cat is confident, Pat! And has a wonderful craziness that makes me laugh! But I sure don't need seven years of bad luck, and it's a very large mirror, so it might morph into 70 years of bad luck! That would take me into the next incarnation, if there is such a thing, and I want to come back gifted in computers. LOL! Have a good one!

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  5. Good for you! You have proved LeVar Burton right!

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    1. Thanks, Debra! Maybe not quite yet ~ I discovered this morning, the badge doesn't link! YET!!!!! But it looks pretty! Take care!

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  6. Pretty pictures and good post – but you are not stupid, you are a success. You successfully manage to obtain one of these impossible gadgets on your bog – that is an achievement!

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    1. Thank you, vagabond, for making me smile!

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  7. Good to see that smile, Louise!
    My, but you put a lot of pressure on yourself to get things right and I guess it does pay off eventually. You must have the patience of Job. And I see it did pay off.....look at that smile!

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    1. Geeze, Jim! You found me out! I stuffed myself in a pressure cooker before I was born, and I've never been able to kick the cover off since! But I'm not patient; I'm pissed and driven! LOL! Terry is the one with the patience of Job ~ He has to live with me! I love that man! Take care!

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    2. Ahh! But you're a teacher, so you know brains, perfectionism, and self-pressure often go together! LOL!

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  8. Adrenalin floods are all too familiar with me but what happens is that I have to go to sleep ~~~ oh sweet wonderful sleep ~~~ awaking FRESH and RENEWED!!
    Have you considered that?
    LD is prevalent, I think, in all peeps ~~ mine is not grasping actually what some one is saying ~~ I look and their mouth moves and I say "Oh there it goes again" Some one is saying something I should understand but nadda.
    My 1st recollection was when my Grade 11 class, those wanting to attend Acadia had to go to U-Hall, sit in those uncomfortable seats and listen and regurgitate stuff. Was I sweating? Oh yes!
    That should have told me that I needed to be in the visual arts. In the past now so I'll will continue with what I've learned and not learned I guess!
    Thanks for divulging yourself Louise, helps you and everyone else!!

    Mirror smiles are so re-affirming!

    Ron
    PS: Barb FB'd me and I gave her my phone # so we can connect this summer....double triple YAY!!

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    1. I consider sleep all the time, Ron! It's running away from me right now; I can't catch it!

      I agree with you about LD being present in all peeps. Most people would be really surprised to learn that I think I'm stupid sometimes. But I want to illuminate the darkness of frustration and shame that comes with feeling stupid and share that it doesn't define you. That we all have strengths and weaknesses and that whatever our challenges, we can be successful and fulfilled human beings.

      Oh do I remember those seats in U Hall and writing three hour essay exams in them! My favorite memory of U Hall is hearing Professor Gmeiner playing the organ one autumn day with sunlight streaming in those big windows.. Wow!

      Oh, God! Barb! She knows me too well!
      I think I've mentioned that my sibs call me The ADHD One. I was supposed to call her on Tuesday about plane tickets and dates, but she and Terry got all that worked out on Monday, so it slipped out of my mind that I was going to call her anyway to discuss connecting with The Trinity! Now it's Thursday! Yikes. But as I said when I started above, sleep is evading me right now, and I'm more than a little wonky! And Barb knows me only too well! Love my sister!!!!!
      Have a great day! I'm going to work out really hard with Julie today in the hope of blissful sleep tonight!
      And you are very talented in the visual arts ~ and the verbal, Miss SD! ~ they scream from every blog post!

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    2. Hey Fundy - it's Barb - love you ADHD - wouldn't change you for the world :)

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  9. Glad it's now only me it took me days to make the Scavenger hunt Blog button. Don't be to hard on your self.

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  10. Thanks, GT! Have a great weekend!

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  11. Well done Fundy!!
    Boy I have battle many times to get a few difficult things right on my blog like having images side by side or a slide-show included into the header for the "Dragonfly World" blog... I gave up for the latter after spending 2 days pulling my hair off!!
    So your persistence payed off, your are a WINNER!!!
    Many thanks for your very kind words on my blog, your visits are so welcome and cheerful!
    Keep well and enjoy your weekend!

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    1. Hi Noushka! Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I won't say it's good that you've had to tear your hair out on occasion, but it's always good to know that it isn't as easy as it looks to put together a great plot post ~ and your blogsite is awesome! Wow! Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Be happy chasing those fascinating animals!

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  12. I am LD in logistics, fathoming 3d things, how'd to move items. My fault get infuriated by me!!! I have to say that Blogger is v confusing a lot of the time-I have no idea how to do many things, that's why my blog has no buttons or fancy things or any sort of original template-I just don't get it!! X

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