I started writing this post on June 12th last year,
but I ended up sobbing and unable to continue.
I was consumed by grief.
It would have been my mother's 100th birthday if she were alive.
But she died on Thursday, May 23rd in 2002, just shy of her 77th birthday.
A Favorite Photo of My Mother and Me
On My Grandmother MacDonald's Back Steps
Smith's Cove, Nova Scotia, Canada
Likely Summer 1951
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
I watched her take her last breath when she died
surrounded by Terry, my sister Barb, the palliative care nurse, and me.
In my heart I begged her, "Please take one more breath,
just one more breath, please."
But she didn't.
I loved my mother so much,
and my pain at her loss is just as sharp as it was 24 years ago.
I had the best mom!
My Mother, My Father, and I Soon After I Was Born
Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Canada
A Few Days After March 18, 1950
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
My mother was the anchor that held our family together through everything.
She met my father when the music stopped
during a Paul Jones dance at Acadia University in 1946 or 1947.
My father was handsome, brilliant, exquisitely sensitive, and flawed.
He struggled with mental illness throughout his life,
suffering with a complex condition of depression, anxiety, and alcoholism
that has darkened the Pratt branch of our family for generations.
But the music stopped in that dance and they fell in love.
Mom and Dad Dancing at Acadia ~ Not THE Dance Though
Acadia University, Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Canada
1946 or 1947
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
Through all the turmoil of their lives my mother and father never stopped loving each other.
Very late on a night or two before she died, while Terry and I were grabbing some sleep,
our mother asked my sister Barb if Barb thought she would see Daddy again.
That great mystery! That great desire: to be again with those we love!
Of course Barb supported her hope.
In my heart and soul I believe they are together surrounded by God's love and healing.
I feel their presence and love every day.
The Photo of My Mother That My father Carried in His Wallet Throughout His Life
Somewhere Near Acadia University, Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Canada
1946 or 1947
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
I don't mean for this to be a sad post.
I was so very, very fortunate to have the amazing mother that I did.
I have countless wonderful memories of her that warm my heart every day.
(And of my dad too!).
Life and love go on.
Our newest family member, our great niece Eliza Moe Mundry, was born on June 5th.
Gavin and Colleen with Baby Eliza
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
June 5, 2026
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
How Mom (and Dad) would have loved this great grandchild and the three adorable others!
Jackson and Elsie Taylor
Wallington, United Kingdom
December 25, 2025
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
Ella MacBeath with Her Parents Neil and Jeannie
Neil Looks So Much Like My Father That It Hurts!
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
December 25, 2025
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
I read these verses from 1 Corinthians 13 during Terry's and my wedding service.
They're some of my favorite verses in the Bible:
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ...
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
New International Version (NIV)
Just Married, Terry and I
Parker, Colorado, Canada
September 1, 1984
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved
Wishing you all love in your lives.
I'm linking to Gillena's Lunch Break, Nicole's Friday Face Off, Tom's Aloha Friday, and Debra's She Who Seeks.
Have a great weekend!
Till next time ~
Fundy Blue
Standing Into Danger https://selkiegrey4.blogspot.com
Copyright ©2026 – All rights reserved.
My next post will be IWSG Day
Friday June 19th. 🤞
On the Bay of Fundy
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved
Just hold on to the memories. I was there for my mother's last breath and it hurt beyond belief. She was also the anchor in our family.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you, Alex. Thanks for your compassionate comment. Have a great weekend.
Delete...life is filled with memories, some happy and some bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteMay I have my memories always, Tom! All the best to you!
DeleteWhat an amazing post and tribute to your family. I loved seeing the pictures of your mom and dad. I think I understand your emotions. My mom died just about the same time at 79. I miss her. But, I do talk to her, probably every day...and sometimes I think I hear what she has to say in return! I hope you feel the same warm thoughts from your mom.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cyndi! I do feel the same warm thoughts from my mom every day. Have the best weekend!
DeleteLouise, this is a beautiful remembrance post of your Mom and Dad. There is an old Spanish saying that says "Recorder es vivir - Remembering is living". Hence, the younger generations get to know their ancestors through your memories, which I believe is so important. May the peace of the Lord be with you, as your parents rejoice in the presence of our Lord. Happy FFO!
ReplyDeleteThanks you for sharing "Recorder es vivir, Arnoldo." I am doing the best I can to preserve my parents' memories. Fortunately my extended family is very close (another gift of my parents), and remembering is important. And thank you for your blessing! It means a lot to me. Enjoy your weekend!
DeleteGreat post in remembrance. And through all your posts and stories and one day book, you keep them alive. Sometimes all we have are memories so we have to hold them dear and make some more with those still here.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pat! "One day book." 😂 It will come!!! Meanwhile here's to lots of special memories for both of us, my friend!
DeleteAll I can say is this is a beautiful, heartfelt tribute. Thank you for sharing with FFO and have a nice weekend.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nicole! I hope you have a calm and relaxing weekend, my friend
DeleteThey are indeed together surrounded by God's love.
ReplyDeleteMy mother died at 70, many years ago, but losing my father when I was 11 hit me the hardest.
Thanks, Diane! I can't imagine losing a parent at 11 ~ How devastating for you! I'm sure your parents are very proud of all that you have accomplished. Happy weekend to you!
DeleteI have also had a wonderful mother. Mine is still with me (sort of.) She has been ravaged by dementia and doesn't remember lots of things. I am grateful that see still remembers close family. One day she will be with Dad again and her mind will be restored.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that your mother is dealing with dementia. The thought of dementia scares me more than anything else. Your mother is lucky to have a caring, loving son like you. The day your parents are together again will be a wonderful one. ❤️
DeleteDear Louise, it is so difficult to lose a loved one! My mother died at the age of 67 in 1983. My father died just a year later at the age of 64. I am an only child. My mother had lost 5 children before I was born, 4 were miscarriages and then my brother Richard, who died at 7 months old of bronchial pneumonia.
ReplyDeleteI was the only survivor. I was born just two months before my mother's 41st birthday and weighed just 5 and a half pounds.
Your photos are beautiful, your story and post are heartfelt and touching.
Thank you so much for sharing, my cherished friend.
Oh, Linda! You've been through such a difficult life, and yet, you are a force for positivity! You put love and energy out into the world. I admire you so much!
DeleteI understand this is not supposed to be a sad post. I can relate. It was winter, all snowy and at one point my Brother said, our Mom does not wake up anymore, I should stay home and not risk my life (it was an 80km- drive one way) - I could not even say good bye.
ReplyDeleteBut I have good memories, maybe that cheers you up:
You are allowed 20 minutes in intensive care. You have to ring, they take you to the room.
My Brother and I? Ring - door opens and we were allowed to stay as long as we wanted.
They all knew us and - now this is sad - most only come to grab the left-over stuff!
We made our Mom laugh even - now I´m in tears. This stubborn lady made it through Christmas so we have no excuse to not celebrate.
She passed on December 29th 2011. I could not eat for days but when I got this message I got really hungry! How weird is that.
I called her youngest Brother, not knowing it was his Birthday. There was some crying....
Cancer is the meanest. She was 70. Never met her second Grandchild... But rich people invest money to go to the moon and mars - I´ll never understand that.
Iris, thank you for sharing your poignant memories of your mother and her passing. It was kind and thoughtful of you. I can relate to tears falling unexpectedly. What a wonderful lady, your mother was, to make it past Christmas so you could celebrate. My mom, so typical of her, tried to slip away when we were sleeping and when the palliative nurses were changing shifts. Imagine people coming to intensive care to pick up leftover stuff! Our mom, my siblings, and our families shared lots of laughs with our mother as she deteriorated during kidney failure. She wanted the laughs, to share all the family stories, and to be surrounded by love. This was a painful and difficult time, but I wouldn't have missed one second. Yes, cancer is mean. That's what killed Terry's mother. She was able to die in our home which was a blessing. Wishing you wonderful memories of your precious mother, Iris! ❤️🤗
DeleteSorry for your loss. Good that you were able to finish the posting
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking to, AFFF
Much love
Much love to you, Gillena! 🌺❤️🌺
DeleteWhat a loving and memorable tribute to your parents. Grief can come from many angles, so I understand how you had trouble writing this last year. Happy FFO and AFFF.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Elizabeth! When I least expect it, BAM! Wishing you a wonderful week!!
DeleteIt doesn't stop, does it? You think "Let me get through the first year and it will be better." And maybe a little is. But a lot isn't, so you think, "Well, in another year..." Trust me -- when 50 years have passed, you will still have those same moments of tears and grief, loss and sadness, that you had then and that you had now. They may manifest differently, but love and grief are intimately intertwined, especially when one was such a deep part of your life. This is one of the most beautiful posts I've read, Louise. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman and one who loved deeply and eternally. That's such a gift. And yes, this post has happiness too, as new generations enter the family fold, bringing with them countless stories yet to be told. (Your wedding photo made me smile big!)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your compassionate understanding, Jeanie. We both loved our mothers very much! Our wedding photo always makes me smile big. We were so happy and still are. I hope you and Rick are enjoying a wonderful weekend together! 🌺❤️🌺
DeleteWhat a beautiful post, Louise. I don't think we will ever stop grieving for our moms and missing them. I lost mine in 2007 and I still miss her every day. Sometimes I even want to call her and chat with her only to be reminded that this is no longer possible. But I see her in my daughter and that makes me happy - the two women who mean the world to me. Like you I loved my mom very much - I just wish I had told her so more often, even though I know that she knew. But the beautiful memories stay with us and they make me smile. You wrote that as well - let's focus on those memories that will still warm our hearts. I'm sending you a big hug. - Carola
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carola! I treasure my memories and try to preserve them so others will remember my mother as well. Sending you love and appreciation for your lovely comment.
Delete