Confronting Lac Seul

All things come to an end,
a fact that I'm understanding more and more, the older I get. 

I wrote that sentence in the last post of my Lansdowne Letters series.
I can't believe that was published in late October 2018.

My plan for my blog was to immediately launch a new series of posts
which I had tentatively labeled as Lac Seul Sojourn.
I actually wrote several posts, but then I stopped.
I wasn't ready to confront Lac Seul.

Somewhere out of Sioux Lookout by Plane

Lac Seul, Northwestern Ontario, Canada

Summer 1976

© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved

I have tried to write about Lac Seul in the past, but I've always skittered away.

My previous attempt was in June 2013.
I published a blog post called Don't Be A Gingerbread Man;
but when it came to Part 2, I backed off on the draft
and skittered away for over five years.
I do not like dark nights of the soul.

Running Gingerbread Man

R. J. Clements quote:
I also do not like
dark nights of the soul
wherein I examine
"the flashbacks" that 
"bring into meaningful confrontation 
present and past, near and far"  
Merriam-Webster  



  




First, I side-stepped.
My next post was about an early childhood trauma
when a fire at the Charlottetown racetrack
killed some horses and I could hear their screams.

One of My Great Uncle Chester's Race Horses

This horse didn't burn to death

St. Peter's Bay, Prince Edward Island, Canada

About a century ago

© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved

Next I danced around.
In my post six days later,
I alluded to one of the consequences of Lac Seul
that had unexpectedly just blown up in my life
after being tamped down for over forty years.
When you find yourself crying over a pile of red peppers
in the grocery store, you know you're in trouble.

Wikimedia 

Then I went into full retreat,
off and running on my gingerbread legs as fast as I could.
For the next four months I posted about anything but the North.
I couldn't even attempt a Lansdowne Letters post.
I'd come Undun.

Wikimedia

It took me many months to work through the blowup in my life,
and all I will say is forgiveness is an amazing thing, especially when it is received.

You hear a lot about resolutions this time of year,
and I know myself better than to make one.
I had been thinking vaguely in terms of increasing the time I spend writing.

Then yesterday, while I was making my IWSG visits,
I came across a post and some comments discussing the value of writing
for exorcising trauma and disturbing events in one's life.
I decided my running on gingerbread legs had to come to an end.

I think failing to confront Lac Seul and its impact on my life
is blocking me from completing my memoir.

I'm tired of being a gingerbread man.
I want to be the fox.
I want to gobble up that gingerbread man starting with his feet and legs.

cloud6d.edupage.org

So next Friday, I'll start again with Lac Seul Sojourn.
I won't republish the few posts that I published before,
but I will tackle their information in a different way.

Till next time ~

Fundy Blue

On the Bay of Fundy
Nova Scotia, Canada
July 31, 2014  
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue

All Rights Reserved

For Map Lovers Like Me:

Map of Canada

Highlighting Ontario

Wikimedia

Location of Lansdowne House, Nakina, and Sioux Lookout

Northern Ontario, Canada

Wikipedia

Lac Seul, Northwest of Sioux Lookout, Ontario 

Google Maps