Friday, March 3, 2017

The Lansdowne Letters: Hungry Heart


Do you remember the first time you truly connected with another on a deep level;
not child with parent, or sibling with sibling,
or even friend with friend, but heart to heart,
where you shared your innermost thoughts and dreams?

Early sexual experiences can have a profound impact in shaping a person, 
but I would argue that entangling your heart can be more consequential.


Peninsula and Island
Lansdowne House, Northern Ontario
Credit: Canada. Dept. of Indian Affairs and Northern Development
Library and Archives Canada:  PA-094992


I was catching up on a crate of mail the week before last
after returning from Bullhead City, Arizona,
and I came across an interview with the The Boss 
in the December 2016 issue of AARP The Magazine 
(Bruce Springsteen: "What I Know Now," p. 16)

Springsteen said, "The first 18 years really shape you forever.
It's like a glass of water filled with mud.
You can pour clear water in until it appears clear,
but there's still mud there." 

His words resonated with me because they struck me as so very true.
My life was largely shaped by six months in 1961, 
March through August, 
although certainly my teenage years added more definition.
A lifetime of hosing down hasn’t removed the mud of that year.


Lansdowne House
Looking Toward the "Mainland" on the Tip of the Peninsula
Photo by Donald MacBeath
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue


I realized when I read the comments to my last post that some people
were thinking that I had a sexual relationship with an Ojibway boy.
Sorry about that ~ nothing is further from the truth.

But that doesn't mean that I didn't develop deep relationships,
much to the consternation of my parents.
My father used to joke that we had to get out of the North
because I kept falling in love with Indian boys.

And it's true.  
The Ojibway boys I met in Lansdowne House, Lac Seul,
and Sioux Lookout were far more interesting than the white boys.
They were exotic, with sparkling dark eyes, black hair, and copper skin;
but it was their stories that got me.

We all have hungry hearts.
We all long to be understood at a deep level.
And while the white boys I had known in the past were cute and fun,
it was the Ojibway boys who had real stories to share about life.



Springsteen ~ Hungry Heart


Bruce Springsteen, E Street Band

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart
I met her in a Kingstown bar
We fell in love I knew it had to end
We took what we had and we ripped it apart
Now here I am down in Kingston again
Everybody needs a place to rest
Everybody wants to have a home
Don't make no difference what nobody says
Ain't nobody like to be alone
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart

Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen
Hungry Heart lyrics © Downtown Music Publishing







Till next time ~
Fundy Blue

Crossing Petite Passage
Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia
Photo Copy by Roy MacBeath 
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved






For Map Lovers Like Me:





Location of Lansdowne House
Known Today as Neskantaga



Location of Lansdowne House
Wikimedia   edited



Lansdowne House
Sketch by M. Louise Barbour


20 comments:

  1. Going to a place where the stories are more real and the kids learn that life doesn't always come up roses sure would have a far deeper impact than stories from coddled ones.

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    1. You said it better than I did, Pat! Life definitely wasn't roses in Lansdowne House! Have a good one, my rhyming friend!

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  2. No one can predict when and where the heart will connect. Or control it. It was as if you were in a foreign country, so I imagine those Indian boys were more interesting.

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    1. Well said, Alex! I was in as alien a place as any I could travel to at that time. Culturally, the First Nations people are very different from most others in the world. Have a good one, my friend!

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  3. To fall in love with a true "kindred spirit" is the most wonderful thing in the world, I agree.

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    1. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. I was fortunate to find a number along the way. I hope you have a great day with your kindred spirit, Debra!

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  4. In a lifetime we are really fortunate to meet one real kindred spirit, and if more than one, better still. I guess in any really isolated place, you have to adapt, and learn to accept friendships, deep and lasting or transient and fleeting.There is not the same number of people your own age, and no choice to pick and choose. Lovely words today that reach out to us all.

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    1. I'm glad that you felt my words today reached out to you today, Jean. This wasn't a long post, but I really wrestled with it. Sometimes it's difficult to put intuitive thoughts and feelings into words. I hope your knee is feeling better. Hi to Hugh and the kitties with lots of love.

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  5. Hi dear friend, it is so lovely to see your post. I smiled when I saw your comment on my blog yesterday. It would be such fun if you did know my cousins. Too bad you aren't on Facebook because you would be able to see all the photos of my family. It is so lovely. By the way, I have a contact form on my blog, so if you would ever like to e-mail me and/or connect on Facebook, it would be a joy and an honour. I hope you have a fantastic weekend, Louise. Hugs and love to you. :)

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    1. Thank you, Linda! I am on Facebook: Louise Barbour in Aurora Colorado. So perhaps you can find me! I'd love that! I'm looking forward to a great weekend. Terry and I are going to have our first swim in the ocean this afternoon. We haven't been able to so far because it's been raining. I've had several wonderful afternoons of lazily reading, a rarity for me. And I've been able to take some Apple workshops in the Apple store down the street. Hugs and love right back at you!

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  6. I totally agree with you, Louise, that at that age we are very impressionable and life experiences will stick with us for a lifetime.......good and not so good ones.
    Some of us absorb our surroundings like sponges when we are kids.
    Great post.

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    1. Mahalo, Jim! I definitely absorbed surroundings, but I was especially attuned to emotions! I hope all is well with you, Ron, and SD! I'll be by in a bit!

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  7. Wow, your blog today certainly has made me sit up straight, wanting more and more! Great writing from the heart, Louise!

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    1. Hi, Susan! We had to change rooms, so I haven't been into my blog until now. There are some interesting things coming, I hope! My next stop in Denver is going to be a little longer, so I hope we can get together! Take care!

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  8. I had a girlfriend once who I opened my heart to, and she reciprocated, but I got unwell and she finished with me - she got scared as I self-harmed. That's in the past now. I've recently split up with another girlfriend, she got unwell (I met her in the hospital). I love my own company now! Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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    1. If you can love your own company, then you have arrived in a good place, Andrew! Take care!

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  9. To connect on a deep level is the most incredible thing. Sometimes we cross paths with individuals that totally 'get us'.

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    1. It's a wonderful feeling when someone totally "gets us." Sorry I'm late replying, Martha." I fall so far behind when I have trouble accessing the internet with my computer. Happy St. Patrick's Day to you!

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  10. reading you is for me to exploring an English girl's pure innocent heart more and deep!
    looking forward for more revelations dear friend!

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    1. Hi, Baili! Thanks for the kind words! I'm sorry I have gotten by in the past couple of weeks. We're in Honolulu, and it's so hard to get on-line with my computer. Hope all is well with you!

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Thank you for your comments! I appreciate the time and energy you put into making them very much.