Wednesday, January 5, 2022

IWSG: Wednesday, January 5, 2022 ~ Writing Regrets


It's the first Wednesday of the month,
the day that members of the
Insecure Writer's Support Group
share their writing struggles
and writing successes
and offer their encouragement
and support to fellow writers.

To visit the IWSG website, click here.

To become a member of the IWSG, click here.

Our wonderful co-hosts who are volunteering today,
along with IWSG Founder Alex J. Cavanaugh are Erika BeebeOlga Godim, Sandra CoxSarah Foster, and, Chemist Ken! 

I hope you have a chance to visit today's hosts and thank them for co-hosting.
I'm sure they would appreciate a visit and an encouraging comment.


Every month the IWSG announces a question that members can answer
with advice, insight, a personal experience, or a story in their IWSG posts.

Or, the question can inspire members
if they aren't sure what to write about on IWSG Day.

Remember the question is optional.
This month's featured question is: 
What's the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?

Happy New Year Everyone!
Here's hoping 2022 is a good one for each of you!

I'm keeping this short because I'm still dealing with 
a raging thyroid and worsening eyesight.
I now weigh what I weighed when I was eleven!
As of today, my endocrinologist is treating me more aggressively with drugs,
and I see an ophthalmologist who specializes in Graves eye disease on Thursday.
Feeling better, seeing better, is getting closer.

So is Hawaii!  
Yes, fingers crossed, Terry and I are flying to Honolulu on Sunday.

Waikiki from the top of Diamond Head
Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
March 10, 2018
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved

My biggest writing regret?
I wish as a university student I had seen writing as a career option.
But it was drilled into me throughout my young life 
that I must have a career,
that I must be able to stand on my own two feet,
and I must not depend on a husband.
Generations of tragedy on both sides of my family fueled these imperatives.

My parents sacrificed everything for their son, 
and their four daughters, to graduate from university,
so I never considered writing as an option.
I needed a solid and secure career that came with good pay and benefits.

I regret not having decades and decades of writing 
what I wanted to write behind me now.

But if I had followed that path,
I would have missed the wonder of rocks and geology,
the thrill of searching and drilling for oil in the Oil Patch,
and my rewarding teaching career with all those amazing kiddos.

Driller Jack Taylor and I in the Doghouse
DNB Rig, Western Kansas Oil Patch, USA
February 1982
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved

I never did anything halfway.
I was always called an overachiever ~ How I hate that label!
I was not an overachiever!
I was passionate, 
and I poured my heart and energy into my different careers.
I had nothing left over to write the books inside me.
I wrote constantly connected to my work, 
but it was not what I wanted to write.

I think we all must wonder about the roads not taken.
I took a different road from that of a professional writer, 
but my chosen road was a rich and fulfilling one.
Regret is a powerful emotion.  Maybe I feel more of a what if.
My life is what it is, and now I can write.

I'm greedy for life, and I'm greedy for time to write.
I've smacked into a giant pile of downed trees obstructing my path,
but I'm sawing through them,
and soon I'll be back to writing as I want to.

This past month I've been beaten down physically.
I had a wonderful visit with some of my family in Calgary
and a lovely Christmas Eve with Terry's family,
but most of the time I've felt rotten and exhausted.

My brother Roy, me, Terry, and my sister-in-law Susan
My best day in December (10th)
Fish Creek Provincial Park, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved

I haven't looked at my blog or opened my email in a month.
I'm posting today because I care so much about the IWSG.
I can't promise that I'll get around much to visit today.
I have three medical/ophthamalogist appointments in the next two days,
and I have to pack.

I cannot wait to see the ocean, palm trees, and Diamond Head.
Our apartment on Waikiki has good wifi,
and my stronger and new meds should kick in soon.
So, I will get around to all my blogging buddies and IWSG visitors very soon.
My manuscript is traveling with me.
And, even if I have to crawl, I'm getting to the top of Diamond Head.

Our Great Niece Ella Grace MacBeath
An Independent Young Woman at Four
December 10, 2021
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved

I hope each of you has fun visiting around today.
Happy writing to each of you in January!

Till next time ~
Fundy Blue 


  1. I really, really hope that your medical woes can be resolved. And love the idea of you in Hawaii.
    Have a wonderful time.
    And please, don't worry about visiting other blogs. Your health and well being is MUCH more important.

    1. Hi, EC! Thank you for your kindness and understanding! I'm starting to feel much better. Hawaii is healing for sure. I hope all is well for you! Hugs to you!

  2. Lovely to see you again Louise, hope all is well.
    Enjoyed the post and photo's. As always most interesting to read.
    Have a lovely day.

    1. Thanks, Yvonne! I'm just now ready to get back online. I hope all is well with you. Sending you a big hug.

  3. I hope you feel better soon. I didn't think of writing as a career earlier either. But I'm not sorry that I pursued my career as a lawyer. It was a fulfilling career and helped me to give my family so much more than if I had tried to be a writer full-time. I have no regrets on my choices.

    1. I hear you, Natalie! We are enjoying a relatively secure retirement right now, because of the career choices Terry and I made. No regrets there. Two of my sisters were lawyers. I hope all is well with you!

  4. I hope your doctors get your thyroid and eyes under control so you can enjoy life more! Have a wonderful time in Honolulu basking in that moist tropical warmth! We took a trolley to the top of Diamond Head. The most interesting thing I saw there was a little black stray cat! And a bunch of Japanese tourists.

    1. Hi, Debra! Thanks for your kind wishes. I'm feeling a lot better now. My eyes are a little better. Thanks for the Christmas card. I hope you ad a happy Christmas. Hugs to you!

  5. January will toddle along, and in Hawaii you will get the warmth and the ocean breezes that should be such a help. How we cope with life, with the " What IF's" and the " Why didn't I?" ,I guess to some extent I also have those, but have worked through the regrets and the hopes I once had and realise that at the time some of the hopes were just not accessible. I really wanted to do a Diploma in Digital Photography, we had Hugh's Mum living with us and study for 4 to 6 hours a day wasn't an option. And now, not an option either, as Hugh's health is not great.You gave your teaching and geology the most, and must have given so much to so many through the years. I hope all the appointments are good ones, and answers, solutions, changes to medications if needed will all go to giving you better days. A heap of love from a sweltering 29C or more most days here in NZ.XXX

    1. Thanks for your kind words Jean. I'm sorry to hear that Hugh health is not great. I'm realizing that some of the things I hoped to do, I may not. I'm learning to be at peace with that. My appointments went well. My doctors and ophthalmologists put me on an aggressive drug plan for two weeks and then cut it back ~ but it's still stronger that my initial plan. My eyes are improving, and I'm feeling a lot better. The sunshine and tropical air are wonderful! It is so hot where you are. I hope it has cooled off some! Lots of love back to you and Hugh!

  6. A much-needed vacation, it sounds like! Hope it restores you, body and soul.

    I also took a non-writing career. Have been so frustrated over the years by its greedy chew-up of all my spare time. But would never have met my husband, or most of my friends without it. Wouldn't have as many zany stories to tell, either. I guess we all have different journeys to the same destination. Arriving with enough energy to tell the story is the trick.

    Wishing you a wonderful, healthy 2022!

    Julia Quay

    1. Thanks so much, Julia! I am restoring my body and soul. I was uncertain about coming to Hawaii because of covid, but it was the right decision. I hope all is well with you! Wishing you energy and happy writing!

  7. It does sound like you had a full life, Louise. The regret should be not being able to clone yourself, so you could live all those experiences and be a writer!

    1. You have no idea how many times I've wished for a clone ~ LOL, Jacqui! I hope you are doing well, my friend! Take care!

  8. A much deserved vacation! Hope it restores you, body and soul.

    I, too, chose a non-writing career. Years of frustration over not having any spare time after work and family time. But without that career, I wouldn't have met my husband, nor most of my friends. Wouldn't have that pile of zany stories, either.

    Hope you have a wonderful, healthy 2022!

    1. You have no idea how many times I've wished for a clone ~ LOL, Jacqui! I hope you are doing well, my friend! Take care!

  9. A PS" from me Louise, I hope you're feeling better and that the holiday worked wonders.
    Please take care.

    1. Thanks, Yvonne! My holiday is definitely a healing time! xxxxx

  10. I wish you the best in the new year, especially for your health to improve.
    I also started writing late, but I treat my previous (non-writing) life as a depository for stories. I dive there once in a while. I'm sure you have a ton of stories in yours.

    1. I do have a ton of stories, Olga! I'm looking forward to reading more of yours. Have a good one!

  11. Thanks, Everyone! I will reply to each of you as soon as I can.

  12. I hope you have a magnificent trip and that your doctors' efforts pay off. I think the fulfilling life was worth having, and that it can only contribute to your writing!

    The Warrior Muse

    1. Thanks, Shannon! I appreciate your kind comment!

  13. Sorry I'm late - this just now appeared in my Feedly.
    Really hope they can fix your thyroid medication.
    If you had chosen a different path, you might not have met Terry or live in Colorado now. You might not be writing at all!

    1. I'm late, too, Alex! I'm definitely feeling better ~ not stretched and thin like Gollum, LOL! I wouldn't trade Terry for anything. He's the best thing that happened to me in my life! I hope that you are enjoying your weekend!

  14. Happy New Year, Louise!

    Back in the day, if you had writing as a career option, then you wouldn't have experienced that "rewarding teaching career with all those amazing kiddos." Yes! Teaching is sooooo rewarding.
    I must say that your passion for life shines in this post. So inspiring!
    Louise, I really hope that you find some relief very soon, from your medical woes.
    Take care of yourself!

    1. Thanks for your supportive and encouraging comment, Michelle! I am proudly the eight generation of teachers through my father's line. I had no choice ~ LOL! Three weeks into my new drug plan, and I am feeling better. Hawaii helps too! Have a great week!

  15. But I bet you enjoyed your career with rocks.

    I hope you do get to go to Hawaii. My best friend is flying back home there today and there is concern with growing cases they will shut everything down again.

    1. Oh yeah! I loved my career with rocks, Diane. Geology enriches my life every day. So far Hawaii hasn't shut down. They're very strict here, and you can't go into a restaurant or bar without proof of vaccination. In about 10 days Hawaii will require a booster shot of people. Meanwhile all the businesses are trying to survive. There's very little entertainment. But we're okay with that. Terry plays pickleball, and I read, relax, and watch "Outlander." We go to the beach and walk. It's awesome. All my best to you!

  16. I am so sorry you're going through all that. I am praying that your health improves and you get better soon. Take care of yourself!

    1. Thanks, Chrys! I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. Yay! I hope all is well with you!

  17. Hopefully you feel better soon. I know what it's like for it to go on and on and on. Hopefully you get to visit Hawaii too. Yeah, I wish it wasn't drilled in my head about university either, things would sure be different.

    1. Thanks, Pat! I am feeling better! Hawaii is healing. Take care, my friend!

  18. I am sorry you have been suffering so. I hope you have fun and relaxing and healing trip to Hawaii.

    1. Thanks for your compassion, Jeff! I'm starting to feel like myself again. I hope all is well with you!

  19. Hi Louise!! I can relate a little bit to how you described your regret. I feel I missed the boat on a few things I could have been so passionate about as a career all my life. But I finally know now what I want to do and studies are back in my life this year. I'm sorry about your health, and omg, I hope your weight isn't too low! Sending my hugs and healing energy to you!!! I hope you make it to Hawaii! I'm sure you'll both have such a lovely time! xxx

    1. Thanks, Rain! I'm glad that studies are back in your life again ~ but that's because I love to learn, especially when it's what I want to learn. I'm guessing you feel the same way about learning! My weight is too low, but at least I've stopped losing pounds. It's weird. My body doesn't feel like my body. I'm not going to let all that weight pack on again, maybe just 2 or 3 pounds. Love and hugs to you!

  20. Replies
    1. Thanks, Adam! I'm!!!! Wishing you a great week, my friend!

  21. my precious friend Louise ,i returned to my blog after twenty days as i was away because we got out eldest son visiting us after three years and now he is gone back to London .

    i read title of your latest post which feared me but there was no detail in post so i came back to previous one .

    this is making my heart heavy and sad that you are loosing your weight because of the side effects of medication you are taking probably .
    despite of all the health issues my heart cannot believe that you are loosing this fight because i know you how astonishingly strong and brave you are and i truly believe in divine creator who is within us and around us like a nurturing mother and leads us where our actual intentions want us to take .i believe that you have faith too which will bring you a great victory eventually!
    all i can say that please take great care in each possible way .thinking of you with heart filled wiht best wishes and prays !

    1. I'm really glad that you finally spent time with your eldest son, Baili! I haven't seen two of my sisters in well over two years, and I understand how hard it is to be separated from your son whom you love so deeply.

      I have a hyperactive thyroid which increasingly sped my metabolism up. It had many see effects, including losing more and more weight. I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. I also have Graves Eye Disease which has resulted in bad double vision for me. The strong doses of drugs I was on did make my stomach miserably sick, but that stopped when I was able to cut the doses. I'm under good medical care, but it will take a lot of blood tests and drug adjustments to find the right balance for me. And if they can't find the balance or fix it in 12-18 months, I may have to have more aggressive treatments. One day at a time. It's all uphill from here! And I am feeling better than I have since early summer, like myself again.

      My mother and brother had Graves Disease much earlier in their lives, and my mother had the eye disease as well. With treatment they managed well. The shocker was my developing a hyperthyroid at my age. It took a while for my doctor to figure out what was happening because my thyroid had been perfect a few months earlier. I know I will get this under control!

      I am happy to have lost much of the weight that I lost. However I did loose too much. I hope to keep the weight off. I don't recognize the feel of my body. I think it's much more healthy to weigh less than I did. I feel younger and more vibrant.

      We go home on the 8th, but we're coming back to Honolulu later in February. After Terry's heart attack and my developing serious thyroid problems, we can't take things for granted. I have a free ticket home and a free ticket back to Honolulu, so we're going to do it. Terry hates the cold and loves playing pickleball here at Diamond Head. He's made good friends. It's very cold and snowy in Aurora right now, so we are grateful to be in the tropical warmth.

      Much love to you, my special friend. πŸ’–πŸŒΊπŸ’–πŸŒΈπŸ’– xoxox


Thank you for your comments! I appreciate them very much.