IWSG: Wednesday, May 7, 2025 ~ My Greatest Fear as a Writer

It's the first Wednesday of the month,
the day that members of the
Insecure Writer's Support Group
share their writing struggles
and writing successes
and offer their encouragement
and support to fellow writers.






To visit the IWSG website, click here.

To become a member of the IWSG, click here.

Our wonderful co-hosts who are volunteering today,
along with IWSG Founder Alex J. Cavanaugh are 

Feather Stone, Janet Acorn, Rebecca Douglass, Jemima Pett, and Pat Garcia!

Stop by their posts and thank them for hosting.

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Every month the IWSG announces a question that members can answer
with advice, insight, a personal experience, or a story in their IWSG posts.

Or, the question can inspire members
if they aren't sure what to write about on IWSG Day.

Remember the question is optional.

This month's optional question is: 

Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them? 

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How did it get to be May already? 

I hope things are going well for each of you.

This month's question is an easy one for me to answer.

My greatest fear as a writer is that I'll die before I finish the writing I want to do.

I never dreamed that I'd be sitting here at 75 still working on my memoir.

But here I am.

I was supposed to have a copy submitted to a publisher

or to someone who could help me pull it together by April 20th this year.

That was the challenge my sister Bertie threw down at me on April 20, 2024.

And I failed.

Admitting Failure to a Published-Author Sibling Isn't Easy  

Bertie can skewer with a look!

(But she wasn't as hard on me as I anticipated.)

Smith's Cove, Nova Scotia, Canada

August 7, 2019

© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue  

All Rights Reserved

When I was younger, the need for security and independence kept me working, 

first as a geologist and then as an elementary teacher.

I poured everything into my two demanding careers,

because I was passionate about them and I can't seem to do anything halfway.

There was little left over for creative writing, let alone becoming a professional writer.

Driller Jack Taylor and I in the Doghouse

DNB Rig, Western Kansas Oil Patch, USA

February 1982

© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue

All Rights Reserved

Actually I wrote a lot connected with my careers, my degrees, and my volunteer work.

(as a union leader and in field and lab paleontology).

I published newspaper articles, wrote and delivered many speeches and workshops,

produced scientific reports and papers,

even published a short story in a Canadian literary journal, The Antigonish Review.

I wrote several partial drafts of my memoir.

But published memoirist escaped me.

Working on a Duck-Billed Dinosaur (Edmontosaurus) 

Me Volunteering, Fossil Lab, Denver Museum of Nature & Science

Denver, Colorado, USA 1992

© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue  

All Rights Reserved

When I retired I worked on my memoir in small chunks shared as blog posts.

I had buried trauma which I had to dig up, confront, reveal, 

things I could only think of in metaphors such as muskeg, sandwich man, gingerbread girl.

Some of the carbon-dioxide and methane that bubbled up from my muskeg

could flip a herd of caribou toes up ~ permanently.

Just in case anyone is wondering:  Caribou have four toes on each hoof.

That's a lot of hooves and toes pointing skyward and inducing guilt.

I still haven't exorcised all of my demons, 

but I have discovered a deep compassion and love

for the people who have moved through my life,

those I hurt and those who hurt me.

I have found forgiveness and I have forgiven.

Northern Muskeg

Flickr: Rover Thor ~ License

And then last year when I thought I could pull it together, finally,

life got in the way.

It was a tough year.

I failed.  

I had to admit to my sister Bertie that I had failed.

I had to accept that it is what it is.

And now I worry that I'll die before I accomplish what I must do.

So how am I managing this fear?

The only I know how,

the same way I have managed other big fears challenges in my life.

I put one foot in front of the other and I walk forward;

in this case, I start typing one word after another.

There are things I have managed in my past that were far, far harder,

and I walked through them all.

I will walk through this too, as long as I don't die first.  😂

I have to put aside the voices of all the people 

I worry are thinking whiner, loser, failure, you're never going to finish this. 

It is what it is, and I'm already walking. 

Me, Regrouping After My Brother-in-Law's Memorial

Panama City Beach, Florida, USA

Sunday, May 4, 2025

© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue  

All Rights Reserved

Wishing each of you a great IWSG Day,

and a big thank you to our awesome co-hosts.

Have a healthy, happy, and creative May!

Take care!

Till next time ~

Fundy Blue

Standing Into Danger https://selkiegrey4.blogspot.com

Copyright ©2025 – All rights reserved.

My next post will be Friday, May 16th 🤞