Every June my longtime blogging friend, Debra, at She Who Seeks,
celebrates Pride Month with a series of blog posts on everything LGBTQ+
with T R A N S L E S B I G A Y A P A L O O Z A.
Her posts over the years have been funny, entertaining, eyeopening, educational,
and sometimes shocking because of the hatred of people
who despise and fear people who are different from them.
I'm as straight as straight can be, but over my lifetime I've been fortunate
to have have many family members, friends, and colleagues who are not.
They have taught me so much about relationships, love, compassion, and humanity.
My Nephew Blair and I
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
December 25, 2016
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved
I remember a late night conversation I had with a good friend
at the elementary school where we both had worked for years.
I went into the library to get a book I needed and saw the lamp on in his office.
He was working late too, so we took a break and started chatting.
At some point we started talking about the difficulties he experienced as a gay man,
especially those caused by people who considered homosexuality evil
and thought my friend was choosing to be gay.
These same people thought he could become a heterosexual if he wanted to.
I'll never forget sitting in the lamplight in his office and hearing him ask,
"How can I be evil, Louise? God made me."
His eyes spoke of the pain he was feeling, and after a pause he continued,
"He made me gay. I've known I was gay since I was a little boy.
I can't change who I am."
I only remember the gist of my answer which was that he wasn't evil
and that some narrow-minded, so-called "religious" people
hate and fear people who are different from them.
And that even though we live in a country which guarantees religious freedom,
some people believe they have the right to force their rigid beliefs on others.
My friend was a good, kind, and intelligent person who worked so well with children.
Our school was lucky to have him.
Our conversation was only one of many I had with friends over the decades.
But my friend's stayed with me because it was so poignant:
"How can I be evil, Louise? God made me."
I have learned beyond a doubt that wherever people fall on the LGBTQ+ spectrum,
it is not a choice. It's a fundamental part of who they are.
Research shows that sexual orientation is caused
partly by biological factors before a person is born.
You can't turn a person gay.
Persuasion, therapy, or treatment won't change a person's sexual orientation.
I think about these things a lot, and I am discouraged by the rising tide of hate
in our country that is undercutting rights and protections for LGBTQ+ people.
Sometimes it's hard to believe what is happening
or the scale with which it is happening,
like it can't really be as bad as I think it is.
And then something hits me like a sledge hammer between my eyes.
A few days ago I was drinking coffee and having a biscotti after a hard workout
with my trainer in the gym followed by a hard swim in the indoor pool.
I just wanted to relax and read the latest edition of Aurora's newspaper The Sentinel.
But my relaxation was brief.
The first thing I read was an editorial by editor Dave Perry:
His editorial was about the June 30th 6-3 Supreme Court decision
that Colorado's law barring businesses from discriminating against anyone
because of his or her race, gender, or sexual orientation
violates a business owner's right to free speech.
If you are creating something like a wedding photograph or a wedding cake,
you are an artist and what you create is an expression of artistry
and is, therefore, free speech.
You don't have to make a product in your business that goes against your beliefs,
like a wedding cake for a gay couple.
As such, your business can discriminate anyone whose beliefs are different from yours.
I get how wrong this is on a gut level.
It's like the laws in six states,
Arizona, Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Mississippi and South Dakota,
that allow pharmacists to refuse to fill birth control or Plan B prescriptions
if they have a moral or religious objection -
and those pharmacists aren't required to find another place
for a customer to fill those prescriptions.
But what really set me off in the editorial was what Dave Perry reported about an email
the Chairman of the Colorado Republican Party mass emailed to its supporters.
On June 29th Dave Williams sent a hate-meme with the subject line "Pride is evil."
It contained a graphic that showed
how the word "demon" is at the center of "Pride Month."
His GOP email went on to say,"Ultimately, these LGBTO+ reprobates
want to groom your children and sexually exploit them
so they can normalize pedophilia."
Williams went on to say, "Enough is enough.
The Colorado Republican Party will no longer be silent on this subject."
The Mass Emailed Graphic
I will no longer be silent on hate and discrimination.
I am alarmed by the surge in hate against LGBTO+ people.
And I will volunteer and vote accordingly.
Till next time ~
Fundy Blue
My next post will be soon! 🤞
On the Bay of Fundy
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIncreasingly, remaining silent accepts intolerance and hate. I refuse to do either.
Thanks, Sue! My parents taught me at an early age about the common humanity we all share and that we must speak out when we see injustice and discrimination. Their speaking out came at a cost including losing their jobs and being unemployed for over a year when three of us were in university. But I was proud of them, then, and always. Happy weekend!
DeleteThere are many scriptures that speak against same sex relationships, but as a Christian I can judge nobody. That Word is our judge.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you don't judge others, Brenda. I know from reading your posts that your joy and purpose in life is to share your love for Jesus. I have never seen you share hateful or discriminating things against others. The human continuum is amazingly diverse, and you are definitely among the spirit-filled.
DeleteThe right wing has been quite efficient at trying to cancel anything LGBT Lately by just calling it woke
ReplyDeleteJust look at all the damage they've caused two Bud Light just because they associated themselves with the Trans woman. They were obviously just trying to spiral advertising because Dylan had a lot of tick tock followers. Homophobes are the biggest bullies
This is what worries me so much, Adam. Hate and intolerance have mushroomed in our country, and hate-filled people feel empowered to bully others, sometimes with life-threatening violence. And it's not just the LGBTQ+ community. It's Jews and Muslims and ethnic minorities and women. Right now the LGBTQ+ is especially under attack, and we can't stay silent.
DeleteThanks for being a good ally of our community, Louise! The time has come to take a stand against all forms of hate and discrimination, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is, Debra! You have had such an impact on me, my friend. I think the world of you because of your compassion, humanity, intelligence, courage, and wit! Thanks for being such a great friend! Hugs to you!
Delete"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24
ReplyDeleteIt's not hate to tell someone the truth. It's love. God did make your coworker and He loves him.
There is an author named Beckett Cook who has an amazing testimony of meeting Jesus and the freedom that brought to his life. You may find his story interesting and informative. ("Beckett Cook" on youtube. His book is "Change of Affection.")
Thanks for the recommendation, Sandi! I'll check it out. My understanding of Christianity's message is that love, compassion, mercy, and forgiveness are at its heart. And I am not seeing that in too many people who call themselves Christians. I have read the entire Bible, beginning to end, a number of times, and I do not believe that every word is literally true ~ like the creation of Adam and Eve, for example. I do not believe that my co-worker is evil or that his committed relationship is sinful and evil. Great evil and division have been wrought by religions throughout human history, including Christianity. Unfortunately, there is a faction within Christianity that stands for hate, intolerance, and conspiracy theories. And some of the most outspoken members are the biggest hypocrites. They are working politically to force their beliefs on everyone else. Organized region is a human construct, so that doesn't surprise me. It fills me with sadness and sometimes despair because I see love, inclusiveness, and tolerance as Christianity's true message. That said, there are many wonderful, loving Christians, but I don't think they stand up enough for the rights of others. Religious freedom is established in our constitution, and too many forget that. When we don't stand up for others who are being discriminated against, we shouldn't be surprised if we lose our rights. Thanks for being a friend and listening.
DeleteThanks for the response, Fundy.
Delete"I see love, inclusiveness, and tolerance as Christianity's true message."
What is it that makes you see this as Christianity's true message? If someone asked me Christianity's true message I would say something like, "Freedom from sin. Repentance. Rescue amd redemption." I see the utter darkness I was pulled from. Writing that last sentence makes me want to scream. Looking back is horrifying to me.
I think it is plain to see we are looking at this differently! But I am interested to know your answer to my question.
Thanks again for the thoughtful response. We have been blogfriends for some time, but I did not know quite how you would feel about my comment.
Hi, Sandi,
DeleteI'm sorry it's taking me this long to get back to my comments. Too much going on! I've been thinking about your question a lot. What makes me see love, inclusiveness, and tolerance as Christianity's true message is that Jesus worked among politically powerless, marginalized, and poor people. He sent His message out to the entire world. Also He said, Let the little children come unto me ... ." I worked with a lot of young children for many years. They are open and sincere. You feel like you can see into their souls. They don't hate; it has to be learned. Because of the places we lived when I was growing up, I went to a lot of different denominations of churches in the Protestant and Roman Catholic faiths. I realized there was a lot of variation and disagreement about who had the "right way" to get to heaven. And I have also experienced sacred places and rites belonging to other religions that felt sacred to me. I know this is "heretical," but I don't see spiritual people in other religions as "damned." Humanity has reached for God throughout its history, and I believe there are different paths to a relationship with God.
When I look at the overlap among the world's major religions there are common values: compassion, respect, equality, justice, charity, forgiveness, and loving one another. It all boils down to the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
As for how I felt about your comment, I respect your beliefs even though ours differ in some ways. I have never seen you hateful or self-righteous. You've always shared your spiritual experiences honestly and openly, but you haven't tried to force them onto anyone else. You have offered them as a source of hope.
I've spent my life trying to negotiate differences in religious views and approaches. I have to walk the path that feels right to me and respect the paths that others take. I draw the line when religion marginalizes or discriminates against groups of people or forces everyone to live according to one religion's particular beliefs.
I am passionate about the rights of LGBTQ+ people and protections for them. It comes from a lifetime of knowing so many good and loving people who fall somewhere in that spectrum. Some I have known literally for half a century or longer. And I will always support them, especially those in my own family.
Take care, my friend! xo
I am sickened to the core at republicans and so called christians who live their hate. I have a grandson who is gay married to wonderful young man. I have many friends who are gay, trans, and lesbian. All fantastic people. There will always be those who hate something or someone and have the power to bring others into their "fold".
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Nicole! I have known many wonderful people who fall somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum in my family and beyond it. Two of my awesome friends who are gay men just celebrated being together for fifty years! I am particularly concerned about Christian nationalism which goes against religious freedom which is enshrined in our constitution. This next presidential election is so critical! Take care, my friend!
DeleteThis is a touching post. I am glad that you wrote the story about your friends. We can always learn something from one another.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Roentare! It's important to be open to learning from others. Take care! Have a good week!
DeleteGotta love religious people who don't practice what they preach. The only opinion anyone wants to hear from you is their words out of your mouth. All sides ra ra ra hoping you'll agree in almost anything. Humanity's need to be right or for others to agree for validation is pathetic. You open up your mind and see other points of view and you learn a lot more.
ReplyDeleteSad how it has gone from you heal someone so you're a witch that must be burned to oh no you're gay you must be figurately burned. Or one of many other examples. Like it is the dark ages in some sense. People just need to get a grip. There should be no need for inclusion what so ever. It should just be by now. No matter what you are, unless a serial killer or the like lol, you should be able to have to same rights as anyone else without fear of attack, being held back, etc.
But I do think people are getting sick of the media playing the game for $$$ too and that can come off the wrong way. As they always say "the first show to have..." or whatever and they plug the crap out of they have a gay character, etc. They are making it a spectacle all to get $$$ and be so inclusive when in the end they aren't being anymore inclusive if they are using it is a prop. Instead of just servicing the story they are servicing everything but. And then there is the flip side of politicians or networks attacking to appease their base and get votes/views. Playing things up once again.
Again, there should be no need to point it out, it should just be at this day in age. The dark ages are gone. Bunch of racist, bigoted, fear mongering, exploitive dbags need to go pound sand.
Also, just because you don't like someone doesn't mean you are any of the above. No one has to like everyone or will click with everyone. It is who you are not what you are. So people need to stop playing the "they are a racist, etc." card when someone doesn't like them. Sometimes it is true, but other times it can just be that they have different lifestyles/views. Nothing wrong with that. Respect one another and move on.
End rant. haha
You are welcome to rant anytime, Pat! I rant a lot ~ Poor Terry! You're so right: "No matter what you are, unless a serial killer or the like lol, you should be able to have to same rights as anyone else without fear of attack, being held back, etc." And you make an important point about sometimes people simply don't click with each other. By the way, I loved "Skunked and the Witch's Curse." Your imagination knows no bounds. I hope the twins got a kick out of it too. It was fun to hear expressions from my past, like "blue blazes," and how I have a fun new expression to use, "hinky hemorrhoid! lol. Enjoy your week, my friend!
DeleteThis hatred of people who are different is so sick. Here the right wing party, the ADF and their supporters are also trying to provoke hate and discontent. I grew up in London and we had a neighbour who always screamed at all the Jewish kids 'Go back to Palestine where you belong'. We were 3 or 4 years old and had no idea what she was talking about. Hatred is always there and always has been, but the rise of provocation, hate and disrespect against anyone who seems to be different is unfortunately on the rise. My sister used to pray that God would heal her son from being gay, and is an ardent supporter of the narrow minded Christians who seem to think that is is their duty to hate and destroy everything that doesn't fit in their beliefs. Yeah, she likes Trump, too! Each and everyone of us has the right to their own opinions but not to disrespect others, or spread hate. We should love other people as ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Valerie
Forgive me, but your comment sounds disrespectful and hateful too. I hope you and your sister can come to some kind of understanding and forgiveness. My sister and I have had some distance too, for different reasons, and it's not good. It's not good. Life is too short.
DeleteThank you for your comment, Valerie! We have to stand up for the rights of others, particularly as provocation, hate, and disrespect against those who are different is mushrooming. It must be very difficult for you to be at odds with your sister. Conversion therapy and other ways of trying to change LGBTQ+ people don't work. Such practices have been opposed by mainstream and medical health organizations for many years, and they can lead to depression, anxiety, drug use, and suicide, especially among vulnerable young people. I hope that your nephew is okay today. I have wonderful nephews on both sides of my family who are gay. I want a better, more compassionate, and understanding world for them. Hugs to you!
DeleteOh Louise, bravo to you for such a thoughtful written piece. You know I agree. And isn't Debra the greatest? I think so too!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kay! It's always lovely to hear from you! Yes, Debra is the greatest! Hugs to you!
DeleteThis is such a beautiful piece, Louise. It is touching, to the heart, and so very spot on. When you start out your career in theatre as I did (and didn't pursue much after college) you find yourself meeting many gay men especially. My best college friend (and dear friend today) was that person for me. We learn a lot about people when working with them daily and see the struggles (and this was in the early 70s when things were far more closeted than now). What is happening in our country with so many is discouraging and angers me. So much of it is trapped in religion -- and not the kind of Christianity I was raised with, which is loving and accepting. It's distressing on every level. This post is a gem and I hope is read by many.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Jeanie! That's what is so distressing ~ this is not the Christianity I was raised with either. Fortunately, this is not all of Christianity, but just a faction of it. Jesus said to "Love one another, as I have loved you." Love and acceptance was and is my understanding of Christianity.
DeleteHi, everyone! I will visit around as soon as I can, but it will be impossible for a few days. So sorry!
ReplyDeleteThat's what is so sad about prejudice. If one is inclined to spend hatred towards people who are different, they'll always find a way to succeed. Hi Louise! I'm back.
ReplyDeleteHi, Joylene! It's good to see you back. I messed up with setting my IWSG post on automatic publishing. I'm sitting in the business center of a Hyatt Hotel by the Calgary Airport sorting things out ~ lol! It's been a long way from Smith's Cove, Nova Scotia to Calgary today. I'm wiped outs I will visit you tomorrow after I get back to Denver.
Delete