Blind, Deaf, or Paralyzed? What Would You Choose?

In grade six our teacher Mr. Keast 
shared a poem with our class 
that has haunted me throughout my life.

It is a poem about 
how your life can change in a heartbeat
and about one of the most difficult decisions
you can make in a dozen lifetimes. 

Two young men, Bobbie and David, 
spend a summer in the Canadian Rockies
cutting trails for the Survey. 

Seal of the Geological Survey of Canada

Source:  Wikipedia

On the weekends David teaches 
his friend Bobbie (the poem's narrator)
the joys of mountain-climbing
and the secrets of the rocky terrain.

Sawback Range and Bow Valley

from Castle Mountain

Source:  Dru!/flickr

During an attempt to climb The Finger,
a peak in the Sawback Range of Alberta, 
Bobbie and David fight their way to the top
through a rock chimney.

The Finger, Alberta

Source:  Peakfinder

They build a cairn at the top of The Finger.
Bobbie looks to the north and Mount Assiniboine,
one of his footholds gives, 
and he shouts to David.

Mount Assiniboine, Alberta, Canada

Source:  Wikimedia

David steadies Bobbie, but his foothold fails,
and he falls to a ledge fifty feet below.

Somehow Bobbie manages to reach the ledge
where David lies bleeding and paralyzed.
David begs Bobbie to push him 
over the edge of the ledge
so he can fall to his death six hundred feet below.
David cannot bear the thought 
of spending his life in a wheelchair.

Bobbie must decide:
leave David and go for help,
or push his friend over the edge to his death,
fully realizing that had he had tested his own holds
he would not have slipped
and David would not have fallen.

Yes, I remember the agonizing choice Bobbie faced;
but, even more, I remember David's wish to die
when faced with paralysis.
That wish haunted me for years,
and even more so after I married my first husband,
a quadriplegic.
Ray fought to survive and to live life as fully as possible.
David wanted to die.

I have often thought 
What would I do if faced with such choices?
Push David over the edge or go for help?
Fight to live or beg to die?

I have lived long enough to know
that decisions like these are impossible to make
until one is actually facing them.
I have surprised myself too many times
when the hypothetical became real
to judge the difficult decisions others make.

I have met many courageous handicapped individuals,
in particular, Vietnam veterans in the spinal cord ward
of the Long Beach Veterans Hospital.
I have worked with blind and deaf students
during my teaching career.
And I have always wondered how I would face such challenges.

Sometimes when I'm walking in nature I ask myself
What would be worse, 
to be blind, to be deaf, or to be paralyzed?
Never to see billowing cumulous clouds in a blue sky,
never to hear a sweet meadowlark singing,
or never to walk among the flowers and grasses of the high plains 
and feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my face.

The High Plains Near My Home

I think about these things because I am blessed
to live the life I am living.
I have known so many brave individuals
who face unimaginable challenges.
What would I do in their circumstances?
I can guess; but I can never know
unless I have to walk one of those hard paths.

Last week I watched a powerful and emotional performance
on So You Think You Can Dance.
To see the dancers, 
to hear the music, 
and to feel their movements on the stage
really made me think of Bobbie and David
on that ledge on The Finger.

After several days of walking on the high plains
and thinking about these things,
I searched yet again for the poem 
I've tried to find for decades.
I couldn't remember the title or the poet.

And suddenly there it was:
David by Earle Birney.

That choice on a mountain ledge that haunted me so
turned out to be written by a distinguished Canadian poet.

It was stunning to read David again
and to realize that the last time I read it
I did not know that I would study geology,
hike in sight of Mount Assiniboine,
marry a paralyzed paratrooper,
or climb Colorado Fourteeners.
I had not truly experienced love and grief
or fully realized what a miracle life is.

I am grateful for the abundance of blessings
that have graced my life.


What did Bobbie choose to do?
Here is a link to Earle Birney's poem David

Poet and novelist Earle Birney won 
Canada's highest literary honor,
the Governor General's Award, 
two times for his poetry.

"Earle both climbed and was a mountain. 
He cast a very long shadow 
and he was central in shaping modern Canadian literature. 
Most of all, 
he had a gift for friendship that he liberally shared."
Wailan Low  
Quotation Source:  Canadian Poetry Online 

Following are the dance and the song
that really impacted me last week:

Amy Yakima and Robert Roldan

Performing on So You Think You Can Dance

Note:  The last half of the video is the judges' commentary.

The Full Recording of

Say Something

by A Great Big World

Note:  This is just the song with an image.

What would you choose?

Push David over the edge or go for help?

Fight to live or beg to die?

What would be worse, 

to be blind, to be deaf, or to be paralyzed?