Friday, August 30, 2024

Shacks Filled with Babies Redux

Usually on my blog I stay away from politics.
But sometimes a deeply held conviction compels me to publicly take a stand.
One of these times is now.

My 4th blog post ever, published on October 22, 2012, was "Shacks Filled With Babies."
I'm returning to this subject.

Now, people may disagree with me, and that's okay.
Each person has the right to stand on one side of an issue or another.

I am expressing my unshakeable beliefs
that a woman has the right to control her own body
and to make informed decisions about her medical and reproductive health.

I was devastated when the Supreme Court overturned 
Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973), on June 24, 2022.
The Roe v. Wade decision in 1973 ruled that "the Constitution of the United States
generally protected the right to have an abortion." Wikipedia
I knew what could happen to women without this constitutional protection.

Protests at the Supreme Court of the United States on the Day Roe vs Wade Was Overturned
Photo by Ted Eytan ~  License
June 24, 2022    Washington D.C., USA

I am old enough to remember the cost of unwanted pregnancies:
I remember young women being forced to marry against their will.

In one particularly horrific situation that has never left me, 
a 14 year-old-girl was forced to marry the town drunk
who was over a decade older than she.
Of course, the marriage didn't last,
and the girl was left with a young baby and no high school diploma.
Meanwhile her "unfallen" older sister graduated from university.
The father of the two girls was a minister.

I remember the humiliating and life-altering label of "ruined."
If a girl or young woman was known to have sex outside of marriage, she was ruined.
If a she was raped, she was ruined.
If she became pregnant as a result, she was doubly ruined.
If she bore a bastard child, she and the child were both tainted.

In another particularly horrific situation that has never left me,
a girl was raped repeatedly by her father and forced to give birth to his child.
She toiled in her father's restaurant to support the child in a tiny community.
I had to eat in that restaurant a number of times, and I'll never forget
how my skin crawled when I saw the father barking orders at his daughter.

I remember the horror of back alley butchers 
where desperate girls and young women went to end pregnancies,
sometimes losing their lives or their ability to have children in the future,
the callousness of the fathers of the babies who abandoned them,
handing them a few dollars and saying, "Get rid of it," and "Don't come back to me."

We've all seen the consequences of overturning Roe v. Wade in the news.  
Before the overturning, the U.S, already had the highest rate
of maternal deaths in industrialized countries. (Propublica)
Tracking the maternal mortality rate in the US is difficult
for a number of reasons, but it is certainly rising
because of overturning Roe V. Wade.

There are many other unintended consequences;  
mothers forced to carry babies that will die before or shortly after birth,
mothers being denied care for miscarriages or other medical emergencies,
mothers unnecessarily losing their ability to have future children,
parents with fertility issues unable to access fertility treatments,
and mothers and healthcare professionals facing possible criminal prosecution.

I was never in the dreadful position of having to decide
whether or not I would end a pregnancy.
I was a "good girl," a term I hate almost as much as "ruined."
I don't know what I would have chosen to do in that situation,
but I know this absolutely:
I will stand up for a woman's right to bodily autonomy and to receive medical care.

However, I am also concerned about access to birth control. 
I've been saying for decades that if Roe v. Wade was overturned by anti-abortionists, 
the next target would be birth control.
Anti-birth control rhetoric is on the rise, 
along with increasing pressure on women to have more babies.

Women who are childless are derided by some people.
I don't have to look farther than the GOP Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance
who has said troublesome, offensive things about childless women in the past, such as 
"Democrats were promoting an 'antifamily' agenda led by a bunch of childless cat ladies
who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made
and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too. ...
People who don’t have kids don’t have “a stake” in this country."
(Tucker Carlson interview during Vance's 2021 Senate run - The Hill

I won't go into JD Vance's comments on
the purpose of post menopausal women or childless teachers.
As a childless, non-cat owning, post menopausal, retired teacher,
I am outraged at the idea that I don't have a stake in our country's future.

Donnie, Me, and Roy on the Steps to Our Second Story Apartment
in a Community That Had a Lifetime Impact on Me
Atholville, New Brunswick, Canada
1956
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved


There is a misogynistic undercurrent in too much political talk right now.
It really bothers me.  
I was, still am, someone who advocated for the failed Equal Rights Amendment.
If it had passed, the U.S. Constitution would have been amended
to invalidate many federal and state laws that discriminated against women. (Google)

I profoundly believe in the amendment's main principle
that the rights of men and women should not be determined by sex.
I've been harmed far less by using unisex bathrooms 
than by being a second class citizen because I am female.
I worry, because I have already seen established rights for women stripped away.
I am apprehensive about what else could happen.

As for "Shacks Filled with Babies," I want to share my memory
of the most powerful lesson my mother ever taught me.
I learned this lesson when I was six years old, 
and it was branded on my mind, heart, and soul.
It shaped me as a girl, a teenager, and a woman,
and it formed a bedrock belief that I will never abandon. 

My mother fixes my hair before I blow out the five candles on my birthday cake.
My sister Donnie is in the lower right.
I don't have a photo of my sixth birthday
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada
March 18, 1955
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved


Twilight deepened over the Restigouche River, 
and lights winked on in the small village along its southern bank.
Supper was over, the dishes done, the kitchen tidied. 
My mother said, “Come on, Louise. Let’s go for a walk.” 

I think we lived on Notre Dame Street. It was along time ago. 
But, I can never forget the pervasive smell of the pulp and paper mill across the street. 
Something else I can never forget is the shacks filled with babies. 

Donnie with Her Dolly in Front of the Pulp and Paper Mill
Atholville, New Brunswick, Canada
1956-1957
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved

We walked the quiet streets, and my mother pointed out home after home. 
“You see that shack, Louise? 
Seventeen children live there.  And sixteen there.  And eighteen there. 

"The man who lives in that two-room shack over there; he has a good job at the mill. 
He’s a chemical engineer, but he’s got too many children. 
That’s why he lives in a shack. 
People can’t afford to have baby after baby after baby.” 

We walked on in the warm night, and my mother continued, 
“But this will never happen to you, Louise!
You won’t be forced to have baby after baby. 
You see, the most wonderful thing has happened! 
They’ve invented a pill. 
Scientists have invented a pill that stops women from having baby after baby. 

"That means that you, as a woman Louise, can be who you want and do what you want. 
You can go to university, get a good job. 
You can stand on your own two feet. 
You will never have to live in a shack, 
because you will never have to have a baby you can’t afford.” 

These startling words branded my six-year old mind. 
I might not remember the name of our street, 
but I will never forget the shacks filled with babies. 

Grammie Pushes Barbie in a Stroller Accompanied by Roy and Donnie
My mother was very sick then.
Atholville, New Brunswick, Canada
1957
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved


I learned unforgettably that a woman's right to control her own body determines her life.
That is my most important consideration as I cast my vote in November.

My Mother, Sara Margaret (MacDonald) MacBeath
Circa 1950
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved






Location of Atholville and Smith's Cove
Canada
Google Maps  Map Data 2018






Location of Atholville, New Brunswick
Canada
Google Maps Map Data 2018





The Best Possible Mother with Her Lucky Daughter
Smith's Cove, Nova Scotia, Canada
Summer 1952
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue. All Rights Reserved


Because of the personal nature of this post, I am not linking to other blogs this week.

Have a great weekend! 


 Till next time ~
 Fundy Blue
 
Standing Into Danger                                    https://selkiegrey4.blogspot.com
 Copyright ©2024 – All rights reserved.

My next post will be 
Wednesday, September 4th 🤞 

On the Bay of Fundy
© M. Louise (MacBeath) Barbour/Fundy Blue
All Rights Reserved



 

32 comments:

  1. Hear, hear. Conservatively speaking I am with you 1000%. At least.

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  2. ...Louise, it was difficult to read this. "Shacks Filled With Babies," sums things up for too many. WE AREN'T GOING BACK!!! Let's have homes with welcomed babies.

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    1. It was difficult to write, Tom! We can't go back! We need to make it easier for parents to take care of their children. We need more aloha in this world. Take care!

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  3. True that it is her body her choice!

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    1. Definitely I agree with that, Roentare! Have a great week!

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  4. My sister knew a man whose girlfriend had an abortion he did not want her to have. He begged her to keep the child, but she did not. He grieved for that baby and that grief has effected his whole life. Please remember him.

    God bless you, Louise.

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    1. Thank you for sharing this, Sandi! Tragically, this has happened too often as well. I am sad for the man you wrote of. This is why I am an ardent supporter of birth control. No form is 100% effective, and there are many viewpoints regarding an unintended pregnancy and difficult choices to make. I share in the heartache and grief that comes with losing a child, for I was unable to have children. I will remember this man. Take care!

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  5. Hear, hear, Louise! I agree with you 100%. Without the legal right to choose what happens to our bodies, women are reduced to slavery.

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    1. Sometimes I feel like we are caught up in a slow-motion prequel to Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale." Wishing you a great weekend!

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  6. An interesting twist is Donald Trump somewhat taking a prochoice position knowing his pro life insanity is losing him votes

    But he is controlled by the right wing media just as he controls the Republicans in office. So he'll break any promise he makes this year

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    1. I can't trust anything Trump says, because he lies and switches positions continually. He says whatever is expedient and helps in the moment. For example, if he truly cared about the situation at the border, he would not have killed the bi-partisan immigration bill. But, a campaign issue for him was more important. We live in a complicated world and time. Enjoy your children this weekend, my friend!

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  7. Dear Louise,
    I think that BECAUSE of the personal nature of your post, you should link it so that as many people as possible can see and read it. It is so important!
    I absolutely agree with you!
    For anyone who believes that abortion should be illegal, I recommend this deeply moving three-episode film: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_These_Walls_Could_Talk

    I know of things my mother told me about friends and their illegal abortions and their problems with them. I also know that my grandmother jumped off a cupboard several times and took hot baths. ONE child still "clung to her" - that was my father, whom she had at 18. After that, she had no more children as a result of an illegal abortion. Neither she nor my grandfather were unhappy about it, but there are certainly people who are unhappy when, as soon as the time is "right" for a child, they can no longer have one because a backyard butcher botched it.
    The rhetoric and attitude coming from the right wing in the USA is real NAZI slogans! Women belong into the kitchen, giving birth to many children (especially sons) for the "fatherland", obeying their husbands, all of this is familiar here from the Hitler era! It's a massive move towards the oppression of women. (If someone doesn't believe me here, they should get properly informed.)
    And the right-wingers are so afraid of strong democratic women that they have to constantly denigrate them.
    All the best from Austria, Traude
    https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2024/08/kelten-katzen-und-mehr-sommer.html

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    1. Thank you for this compelling comment, Traude. You've shared a valuable and frightening viewpoint on a number of issues. Certainly, I have thought of the lead up to Hitler and its aftermath, and I clearly see the parallels. I feel like I'm living through an accelerating train about to wreck. So much hinges on our election in November. Enjoy your weekend, my friend. Love and hugs to you!

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  8. Louise you know I am firmly in your camp on this issue. Living in Canada I am thankful that at the moment I have the right to decide what I do with my body but it scares me to watch what is happening in the US and the horrible consequences that have followed… and the thoughts that this might spread to Canada.

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  9. Greetings Louise. I am so sorry that you lived in a time where there were no contraception aids. My Mother had five children, and my Father left us when I was about five or six, with my younger Sister only being a Baby. I felt so sorry for my Mother having to look after five children on her own, just going to the shop for bread and milk was an excursion!

    The Mother of my Children had an abortion, of her own freewill, but we'd had a break-up beforehand and I new the child wasn't mine, so I was glad, as I wouldn't have wanted any resentment towards the child (as I am humane). So I have personally experienced the benefits of abortion, and was glad of it, and still am for others.

    I don't watch much of the news, so am unfamiliar with the 'Wade' case - sorry.

    And when me and my Children's Mother were together, I used to do all of the cooking! She used to put everything on high and commence cleaning! Ha. So I was forced into cooking if I didn't want to eat the food burnt! But I enjoyed cooking, and still do! I like to think that I was a good Father, and Partner, by contributing with all of the household chores. I took pride in cooking nice meals for my Children. Sadly, I know, not all men are like-minded, and mindlessly prefer the chores to be done by their partner.

    I am behind you on your contraceptive and abortion beliefs a hundred percent!

    Take good care of your wonderful-self. I am so sorry you couldn't have Children of your own. Love love, Andrew.

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    1. Hi, Andrew! Thank you for sharing your experiences! My parents had five children, and when my father went up North to teach, my mother had to take care of everything. I know it was really hard. I feel for what your mother went through. Abortion is such a complex issue, and the solutions to an unexpected pregnancy are not easy. That is why I believe so strongly in choice. No one solution fits every situation. I also believe that people alive in the world take precedence over the unborn. That may sound harsh, even cruel, to some, but don't think a mother should be sacrificed for an unborn child. Now, if that mother choses to remain pregnant and take her chances, I'll stand behind her, because it is her choice. I think the fact that you cooked meals and helped out with the household responsibilities is awesome. Terry will help with the preparation of meals sometimes, and he nearly always does the supper dishes. He's not crazy about cooking, so on Friday and Sunday nights he takes me out for dinner. We just now have returned from our Friday night dinner. We always split an entree, so it's his job to split and serve our meal. He's very good about that, and I'm thrilled to go out. I'll always go out ~ lol! One of the reasons I loved teaching so much was I got to spend lots of time with children. It helped. Have a great weekend, my friend, and you take good care of you too! ❤️

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  10. Louise, I am so very happy that you did link with FFO. I am standing with you as so many other men and women are. When I was 5 the people that lived next door to us had 17 kids. My mom was pregnant again and I remember asking her why she is having so many babies. She told me there was no REAL way to not have babies. In 1960 the birth control pill came out. My mom had 6 kids. I remember the day that my mom came home with the round compact like container filled with pills. I love this post.

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    1. Thanks, Nicole! I really appreciate your comment! My mother had heard about the birth control pill in 1956, but she was unable to access it until after 1959. In the interim, she had baby number five, my sister Bertie. I'm so glad that Bertie was born. We all were! But Mom and Dad made sure they never had a sixth child. It was all they could manage to raise five children. If people in our country value children, then they should support and pass laws that make it easier for families to raise them: cheaper child care costs, tax credits for children, less costly education, and access to health care. In the US the leading cause of death between 1 and 19 years is guns. If we really valued children wouldn't we try to do something about that? Okay, I'll stop. Meanwhile I'm keeping you and Mr. M. in my heart and prayers! Hugs to you!

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  11. I hear you -Christine cmlk79.blogspot.com

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  12. I have know desire to live like it 1950's. Woman couldn't get credit card in there own name.
    Love the photos.

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    1. Thanks, Dora! I got my first credit card in my own name when I was 32. I still have it. It meant so much to me. Happy weekend to you, my friend!

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  13. Men have been making our decisions for us too long.

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  14. First of all, I agree with every word you wrote -- and wrote eloquently, thoughtfully and with great insight. Second, your mother was an amazing human being, so wise and smart. What a gift it was to be raised by such a woman. Thank you for sharing this. It's wise and spot on.

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    1. Thank you, Jeanie! I couldn't have had a better mother in the world. I try to do the best writing I can in my posts, in my journal, and in my memoir. My journal is free flowing, of course, but I focus on detail and observations. At 74, I know my years of writing may be short, but during these coming years I'm studying my craft, writing daily, and hopefully publishing. Love and hugs to you!

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  15. Well said, Louise. Your points are moving, yet logical. I stand with you. When I encounter people who are opposed to abortion, I always say, "No woman--especially no teenage girl--should feel so desperate that she sticks a coat hanger inside herself to try to end a pregnancy." Since the overturning of Roe v. Wade, we have already seen too many examples of suffering caused by unwanted or unhealthy pregnancies.

    Love,
    Janie

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  16. How any stupid arse politicians think they have the right to control a woman's body is insane. They need to take these politicians out into the woods and leave them there. The nutballs bringing religion into it should be fired the moment such stuff comes from their yap, as that is supposed to be separate. Their constant need to go backwards to assume some control they never should have is pathetic. And the sickos that do such things like above to women, men, kids should be made a eunuch. Used to have houses full of kids here back in the day too. People used to just hand of babies to neighbors too. So, yeah. I'm with you. Hopefully PP doesn't try to do it here like he supposedly wants to.

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    1. Separation of State and Religion ~ Yeah, right! I've thought of eunuchs a lot ~ even volunteering to do the job! Have a great week, my friend! ❤️

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  17. I agree with you! And with your replies in comments, too! i think it's so frustrating that we always seem to move one step forward and two back. Can we ever learn?
    Google won't let me log in, so I may not see further replies!
    Deniz
    http://www.thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com

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Thank you for your comments! I appreciate them very much.