Ugly Scary Vegetable

About that ugly scary vegetable 

that lurked in our vegetable bin for many days;

seriously, would you eat something

that looked like this?

It's as hard as a rock
(that's a good thing),
and it feels knobby and rippled.

Given my traumatic history with vegetables,
you might wonder
What possessed her to buy it?
What indeed?

Every so often I get a wild idea
stuck in my head, 
and I can't get rid myself of it
until I deal with it.

So I found myself at King Soopers
staring at a celery root.
Yup!  It's a celery root,
Or Apium graveolens var. rapaceum:
AKA turnip-rooted celery,
knob celery, and
its Cinderella name, celeriac.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celeriac

Celeriac ~ Dressed for the Ball

in Tiara and Skirt

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Knolselderij_knol_%28Apium_graveolens_var._rapaceum%29_%27Dolvi%27.jpg

It's all Ivan's fault!
He inspired me to buy that ugly scary vegetable,
drove me right out the door  to get it, 
a bunch of celery,
and a bottle of celery seeds!

Now, I have been known to tolerate celery
in the past.
My favorite celery recipe is
Ants on a Log.

Ants on a Log

Source and Recipe:

http://www.projectsforpreschoolers.com/ants-on-a-log/

This is the perfect teacher recipe
for a healthy classroom party.

Note: third graders do not like healthy parties.
The one time a room mother and I 
planned a healthy Halloween party
featuring Ants on a Log,
it was a disaster.
I've given unhealthy parties ever since!

I quite like Ants on a Log ~ though,
actually it's the only way I like celery.

But...
Ivan has an amazing blog
called A Normandy Kitchen,
and he posted a celery recipe
that made me salivate ~
celery!
His post was called A soup of three celeries.

Caveat!  Ivan's beautifully presented recipes
always make me salivate!

I stuffed the celery and the USV in the vegetable bin
and closed the fridge door.
Every time I opened that door
that USV told me it was waiting
for a fairy godmother transformation.

Finally I couldn't stand it any more!
In a rash fit,
I channeled Graham Kerr*,
poured a glass of pinot noir,
and assembled the ingredients.

Just a Few Simple Ingredients 

and a Good Recipe

Not quite sure how to dive into the unknown,

I gave the USV a good scrub.

Surprise a fresh, clean, celery aroma wafted up ~
much pleasanter than fresh scrubbed potatoes or carrots.

I took a swig of wine to fortify myself,
strange vegetables, especially USVs,
intimidate the heck out of me!

Ready for the Attack!

Said Ivan in an encouraging comment to me:

"Please be careful with the celery - 

cut in half and place cut side down so it doesn't slip.  

'Peel' with a knife as you need to remove 

about three times that of a potato skin (more at the base).  

Fingers on top and cut just below them and down (keep turning).  

Rinse and ready to go."

Cross - Section of Celeriac

Whoa!

The loveliest and bright fragrance

hit my olfactory senses,

not just celery, but

the soul of celery!

OMG?!

Does this thing have cancer?!

 Carefully Peeling Celery

See Safety Note Above

I took another swig of pinot,

and chopped that cancerous looking sucker up!

Celery Root Put in Its Place!

Washed 

and Ready to Go!

Peel????                                            

"Ivan ~ did you really mean to peel the celery sticks?"

"Yes, you can peel the outside of the celery sticks to remove the strings or snap the top and remove them by pulling down (sometimes you don't need to, depends on the season)," writes the helpful Ivan.

O~kaaay!

Chop, small!

Strings in Soup 

Are a Bad Thing!

Note from the Trenches!                                                                  

Don't use dark brown vegetable stock.            

Make your own ~ or buy 

a light-colored one

(light on the salt!).   

Chopped Celery, Celeriac, and Stock in a Pot

I brought it to a boil

and simmered it until soft.

Celery seeds are tiny!                               

Never-the-less, 

I followed the roadmap

and ground them up smaller!

                 

I tossed in the       

celery seeds and  

pulverized the

cooked celeries

in small 

batches.                         

                                                                                   

                                                 

Just for good                    
measure,
I ran the
mixture
through
my blender.

I returned everything                 
to the pot and 
stirred in
ground up cashews.
Then I left it to
simmer until the
Guinea Pig came home. 







"What's that?" said the G-P when he walked in.
Sniff?  Sniff.
"Celery?  
Did you finally cook that celery root in the bin?
Smells good!"

"Why don't you try some?" 
said I who had not taken a sip,
thinking of Zhang Mei, 
the Dragon of Terror and Peril,
and his soup 
in The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril.

The G-P would be my taster!
I placed a bowl artfully festooned with cashews 
in front of him.

Cinderella Vegetable

"How come it's brown? 
I thought Ivan's was green,"
said the G-P.
"It looks like ..."

"Next time I'll use a different vegetable stock,"
I quickly interrupted.

"Okay," said the G-P,
and he dove in.
"Ummm. Yum.  This is good.
He finished his bowl.
"Aren't you going to have some?"

"I'm just finishing my wine,"
said I, as I carefully watched the taster.
He didn't keel over on top of his soup bowl
or slump on the floor.
Nothing happened.

I ladled a small bowl for myself,
spooned up a tiny amount,
and touched it with the tip of my tongue.

I didn't keel over on top of my soup bowl

or slump on the floor.

Nothing happened.

"Wow!  This is pretty good!  

It's delicious!" said I,
and I finished my bowl.

"That's a keeper," said the G-P.

"You should make it again."

"I will," said I.

"Celeriac is good raw with mayonnaise (or Greek yoghurt and lemon) ... and it freezes well,"  wrote Ivan.

I'll attempt anything Ivan posts on his blog,

well ~ maybe not kale.

To get the recipe for A soup of three celeries,

you just go to his excellent blog!

*For those of you who may not know,

Graham Kerr is the Galloping Gourmet,

and he ~ despite the funny clip ~

was a great inspiration to me as an excellent TV Chef.

Check out this short and hilarious video.

Graham Kerr always cooked 

with a glass of wine at hand!

For the background posts on Ugly Scary Vegetable
you may go to:

Vegetable Trauma
http://selkiegrey4.blogspot.com/2013/02/vegetable-trauma.html

and
Forbidden Fruit
http://selkiegrey4.blogspot.com/2013/02/forbidden-fruit.html